Ah, Chunk. His very name an insult, he’s simultaneously the low-man on the Goonies totem poll, and the most memorable of the kids. The 80s were a simpler time, and that’s for a lot of reasons. But one of them is that no one saw anything wrong with body-shaming children. The “Truffle Shuffle,” the stomach-shaking dance Corey Feldman cajoles Chunk into performing to gain entry into the Goonies’ Rube Goldberg machine-laden house, is one of the more humiliating acts an overweight child can be asked to perform by their peers. Goonies director recalls the scene being so painful to shoot he thought about for years to come. The current owners of the house used in the movie have had enough of fans’ own renditions of the “Truffle Shuffle”––they’ve put up signs asking fans to keep their distance. (Keeping your shirt on is implied.) And the experience presumably compelled Chunk actor Jeff Cohen to mature into an athletic, hunky adonis. (Maybe he’s just blessed with good metabolism, but we’re going to assume not being able to comply when fans asked him to do the Truffle Shuffle was part of his motivation.) But you’re no delicate snowflake––you don’t mind showing off your shameful soft parts for all to see. Because you know that’s what you’re signing up for when you go out in this Goonies Chunk Costume. So practice your best moves, put in some time identifying ice cream flavors from a distance by scent, and hone your internal pizza compass, because when you’re Chunk, the world has a lot of demands of you. |