There are a lot of...unfortunate...things about today’s younger generation. They are obsessed with their phones. They don’t seem to understand the actual spelling or grammar of the English language. They have never played the Oregon Trail and they think they made acid wash jeans and side braids stylish. Wrong.

But the most tragic thing about millennials is actually none of this, if you ask us. To us, it’s the fact that a generous portion of these young adults have never seen The Goonies! We know; it’s an absolute outrage! So we’re organizing a strategy to rectify this horrific and obviously detrimental issue. Watch parties. All across the land, we want to see the millennials meeting and falling in love with Mikey, Data, and of course...Chunk and Sloth. This is a project for the good of humanity and the survival of our civilization. So all we want to ask you is: are you in to do the Truffle Shuffle? Remember: it’s for the kids. The kids!

We’re glad you’re with us. Now toss on this licensed look at embody your (and everyone’s) favorite Goonies character. This outfit combines Chunk’s Hawaiian-print shirt, plaid pants, red windbreaker, and even his curly wig! Now that you look the part, set up a screening in your hometown and invite anyone who has never seen the film. Make them leave their cell phones at the door (otherwise they can’t focus on anything) and then sit back and watch as they get to seek the treasure of One-Eyed Willy for the first time. And you have to admit, it’s sort of a win-win for you: you get this sweet costume, and you get to do something good for the future generation. It’s exactly the kind of think Chunk would do.